It's been a hectic week. Work has me going crazy and my spare moments have been spent getting to know Mikey in a more "romantical" way.
He's great. Very loving, very attentive, affectionate, kind, sweet, etc etc. BUT I am still feeling that missing passion. I am waiting for it to just slap me in the face. which I guess is utterly unrealistic. I'm wondering why I have so many relationship issues. It's as if I want the fairy tale. I love to love, and be loved. Love that crazy butterflies in your stomach feeling. Want to be swept off my feet, be desired, and craved but I also want the passsion. Want a dirty text message during the day telling me he can't wait to have his lips on my ......(fill in the blank). Want to walk through the door, and be taken right there in the kitchen. Want an arguement where we yell and build up so much and release it in crazy make-up sex.
Is this too much to ask? Are there really relationships such as that out there?
maybe that's the way Mikey is. Maybe it's the initial shyness you have when you begin a more intimate relationship with someone. Maybe the barrier will be broken when he gets more comfortable and the passion will come flooding in.
When I was with HIM, we had passion from the beginning. It was crazy, it was so good, I felt like I was in a whirlwind. But HE was a very secure and confident man...wasn't shy from the get-go, so maybe that's why he was able to allow the passion to soar.
I'm passionate by nature. But i feel like I am holding some of that back with Mikey as to not scare him away. Am i doing us a big dis-service by refraining?
Thoughts much appreciated.
2 comments:
hum... difficult. from my point of view, it is very probable he just wants to respect you, or make you feel he cares about you, as he knows the bad thing you have gone through recently. maybe he is retaining himself. it can be that he is 'more gentle than passionate', and I could say then that maybe that could not fit with you if you have that need and blah blah... but the fact is that what I really think is that if you really really love him, you would not ask yourself about these things, because when you are fascinated you can feel new definitions. maybe you thought you needed passion and suddenly the slowness is the greatest you can feel. I don't think one person needs 'something' it is needed the correct feeling with the correct person... it can be bliss even doing things you thought would not be appealing. well, at least it was my experience. different people enhance each experience.
on the other hand this thought is quite disturbing, so maybe just keep it at that: he must be wanting you to feel respected, and you are touching in the dark trying to know if you can really feel love about him, so...
I would let him know how you feel sex and don't worry. he is your friend and is not going to feel offended for something like that. you both crossed the line, so just undo these qualms, normal between two friends, but now you are more than friends, no way to go back.
hope my opinion helps you in something although it is for not following it! :-)
Thanks Sophie...you are extremely insightful!!!!!!!
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