The good thing about finally treading out of the murky waters of what was my last relationship was that I freed myself from a lot of crap. I wised up, and was able to really determine what exactly it was that I wanted from a man, and in a relationship.
The bad was that I took some issues. Not some, alot. I took alot of issues with me.
My worst one now...insecurity. I never remember being insecure. I was always confident and sure of myself.
Now...not so much.
I'm in a progessive new relationship now. My guy is great...tall, absolutely gorgeous, smart as hell, funny, etc. He's older. Which I like, and don't like. He's extremely confident and sure of himself...almost pushing cocky. Almost.
We go out, and women stare at him. I pretend not to notice, but damn. His phone is always blowing up with text messages. Ofcourse I don't have the audacity to look, but dozens of thoughts run through my head. He can look at my phone at any given moment (which he has), and see nothing but harmless silly texts from friends and family. something tells me I wouldn't find the same with him.
Would you look? would I be a terrible person if I had a peek into his text messages?
4 comments:
instead of looking, tell him of this inquisitiveness and see how he responds. if this relationship is worth it's salt he should have no problem showing you the messages, thus easing your concerns and putting your fears to bed.
i love your progressive approach- the world needs more women like you.
Thanks Jax...now I just have to work up the nerve to ask him.
thanks for the comment as well...although I have a long ways to go before I can be considered progressive
my lover is 1000 times better looking than i am and i have the same insecurities - but over my dead body will he ever know!!
he said the one thing he really loves is that im so secure and never jealous.
NOT!!!
im a really big girl and all these tiny little skinny things are ALWAYS vying for his attention even when im standing next to him. we cant go ANYWHERE without me wanting to stab a bitch in the eyeball. LOL
but...
i never ever let him think i am jealous or insecure... because im a great fucking person and i remind him all the time how lucky he is to have me.
physical looks only last so long.
and i remind him that the 50 times a day he looks at himself in the mirror.
i never fuss when he looks at chicks, and i even point them out to him so that he knows im on to him. he laughs and kisses me and i tease him that they will never be as great as i am and their titties will fall eventually, too.
MY advice is DONT let him know and DONT EVEN THINK about asking him about his txt messages. forget the text messages. shower him with love. if he is the right one, he will nip it in the bud when he's ready. i get txt msgs all the time, and 5 months into our relationship he the finally got upset and said WTF? and i said WTF?? i dont give you a hard time so leave me alone... LOL
his txt msgs came to an abrupt end.
if he's not the right one, you will know soon it enough.
bottom line:
if he cheats and lies then he is the loser and it's HIS loss.
and if your gut says he is cheating and lying then follow your gut.
women's intuition is almost never wrong.
Good advice Saidy! I will not let him think for one minute that I am insecure, or a raving jealous lunatic deep down. hehe. I'll save all that for my blog!!
And you are so right...if he is cheating and lying, then I deserve better than that, and it is completely his loss. i guess the truth is hard sometimes, and i guess if i just continue to be the person i am, and continue to shower him with all the love i do, eventually if he does have something to hide, it will come out.
i just hope that if there is something, it comes out sooner or later.
Thanks again for your input. it's nice to have an outlet here...these are things/problems i could never discuss with friends. it's much easier, and i can be more honest about everything here where it's neutral.
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