The only good thing I have to say about today is the good weather. I love the crisp fresh air.
A few posts back, I wrote that my last relationship has left me with some issues. The biggest being insecurity.
The second is neediness.
I don't want to feel like I need a man. but life seems to be nicer when you are in love. My heart is huge, and I'm the girl that falls hard in love. With my new man, I tried to hold out on that, but once it came, I couldn't stop it.
He seems so much more independent than me. He can probably go for days and not miss me like I miss him. I can't figure out if that's a male/female difference in general, or if that's a wake the hell up Alex call.
I thoroughly enjoy spending time with my man. I can't wait until the next time I see him, I hear his voice...etc. I think he's great and wonderful. Sure I like my time to myself, but I love my time with him.
This weekend I felt like maybe I'm not on the same page as him. I swore after my ex that I would not settle.
These are things that I NEED in a relationship.
1- affection
2- respect
3- love
I'm not high maintenance by any means. I would much rather a hug than a material possession.
This weekend, I felt like I did not get a damn bit of any of the 3 above. After he left, I felt like maybe I should just end it before I end up with another broken heart.
but then I thought about last weekend, and how he gave me the 4 hugs a day and all that.
maybe he was having an off weekend. maybe men have the capability of being more moody than women?
all I know is that right now I'm confused and I'm feeling needy.
2 comments:
I honestly believe you have to express your concerns. Sometimes we (men) live in our own comfortable world with no regard to anyone or anything thus, totally ignoring our other half's feelings. It's not until we are confronted (in a non confrontational manner)about the issue that we wake up. There's nothing wrong with feeling needy. We all NEED to be needed- believe it.
Head up- always.
Actually Jax, I did confront him yesterday....stay tuned for the post.
And thanks for a bit of insight into the male mind. Those tidbits help make me feel like I'm not totally pathetic after all.
=)
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